I wasn’t very motivated today.  I didn’t feel well, and wished I had taken the day off.

I only rode Ami today.  It went so-so.  Granted, I have only ridden him 5-6 times… period.  I am still in the learning phase.  However, I am frustrated because I want to be be further along than I am.  I feel like I can’t ride him productively without them giving me a lesson and constant feedback from the ground.

He is a complicated ride.

It is going to take me a while to figure him out. Add to this, he still has thrush.  He seems to be footsore on the right front.

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There are a few reasons why I am frustrated.

One, I have been lessoning on others and I know my riding has improved hugely.  I have really learned to balance my seat and get horses off of their forehand.  I HAD to have this opportunity of working with J and B in order to have their training in order to get THIS FAR with Ami.  So I know it’s gonna pay off eventually but <sigh>.  I hate that I ride other people’s horses better than my own.  I hate for other people to watch me at the barn ride Ami because I know I’m not very good on him yet.

Two, I know in my heart, that I don’t aggravate J and B but I hate that I always need help, or teaching, or commenting on.  I love that I get constant feedback, but I hate that I need it.  Make sense?  They are super nice and super encouraging but I just want to get to the point where I am not so paranoid.  I think my past training history and how sour that went is also a factor.  I just want them to think I’m a good rider (and I KNOW they do, which is why its so stupid!!).