264 - Birthday
I am in Conyers. Our horses have done awesome. I am trying to be happy.
Today is Cook’s birthday.
I thought about her alot…. I am at a loss for words. It is hard to express to people who didn’t know her, and didn’t know ‘her and me’ the complete abyss of despair I have felt since she passed. I know we are nearing the 5 month mark, which can go either way with people. Some people think its too short of a time to expect any sort of healing, while others think I need to move on and be happy with Ami, and my dressage life. I don’t care how much time passes - I will NEVER get over her. I will never fully be ok with her being gone. Even with all that I am blessed with now, I still feel cheated. I desparately want her back.
She is, was, and will always be, the absolute LOVE of my life.
Comment by Mrs Mom
April 12, 2008 @ 8:33 pm
Words can not express your loss, no matter if it is five months or five years. I can empathize compltely with how you feel about Cook though. Two years ago, I lost my Appy gelding, Jack. We had been together for almost 20 years. He was 40. Its like there is a large piece of me that is just… gone. Even though there are two fantastic horses here now, and I love them dearly, but… they are not that old App.
I console myself with this thought:
As long as he is in my heart, and my memory, he will be “alive” with me forever.
Hang in there. The urge to cry will lessen with time too. Somewhat anyway…
Comment by nikki
April 12, 2008 @ 9:50 pm
Comment by Beth
April 13, 2008 @ 12:34 pm
I understand. Hang in there, sista!