Crystal and Cookie

Leave Me Be:  To accept a situation, allowing it to be the same and to leave the person alone.

written by Yours Truly, Crystal… after a life with both.

~  No horse (man) has everything.  You have to decide what you can live with.

~  Don’t expect your horse (men) to be remorseful after letting you down.  Their ability to emotionally reason is limited.  You’re better off if you learn this early.

~  Be wary of agents trying to set you up with a horse (man).  If he’s so great, why aren’t they riding him?

~  Not every horse (man) has to be a life time commitment.  Some are just there for a good time.  Decide who is what, and accept them for what they are.  Don’t waste time with assholes.

~  You have to know when to dig your spur in and when to use a less aggressive approach.

~  There are diamonds in the rough.  With the right training and good attitude, any horse (man) can move up in the hack.

~  Horses (men) are always happy to eat.  Delaying mealtime to suit your needs only makes a horse (man) cranky.

~  Stallions (men) like to puff up around pretty mares, but a quick reality check usually puts them back in line.

~  Don’t be swayed by fancy bloodlines and chrome.  Most often, the reliable horses (men) are the simple, salt-of-the-earth type.

~  No matter the circumstances, getting dumped sucks.

I love this quote. I hope all my friends who frequent this blog know how grateful I am to their overwhelming support they have shown me.

With Love,
Crys.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

-Henri Nouwen

You’re not alone
Together we stand
I’ll be by your side, you know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There’s no place to go
You know I won’t give in
No I won’t give in

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it’s too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend,
I’ll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah!

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing’s gonna change, nothing’s gonna change destiny
Whatever’s meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through

In the past 2 years, I learned more about the world and more about myself than any other time in my life. I thought of this when I read this quote from Mark Twain:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Here is collection of what my horse experience taught me.

~~~

1. Travel light. You can get by anywhere with a change of clothes, a toothbrush and some deodorant. Depending on the company you keep, deodorant is even optional! You can buy anything you need on the road. Every town has a Walmart… (except Germany .

2. Performance horses have to be maintained. I wish I knew THEN what I know NOW with Cook.

3. Vets and farriers are your best friends. Find one you like and stick with him/her. When things go wrong, TALK TO THEM. I have 2 exceptional ones with – Dr. Fernando Cardenas and Loren Griggs. Both have tolerated my tears, discussed each of my horses’ issues at nausea, and tried anything and everything to keep them sound and healthy. I know this isn’t possible in every situation, but my vet and farrier communicate with each other.

(on a personal note: Loren shod Cook for years. When Meredith told Loren about Cook passing, Loren said to his assistant… “She ain’t never gonna stop crying.” It meant alot to me because there were so many people, friends even, who never understood my love for her… but my farrier knew. He knew.)

4. You can still eat an un-opened bag of Doritos found on the floor of the trailer for lunch, while stuck waiting for stallion collection AND NOT catch any major illnesses.

5. No one is happy in the horse world. You might disagree with me, but hear me out. No one is happy who is consumed by this life. When you are consumed by this life, it’s a business of the latest horse, the latest funding, and the latest win. There has to be balance. No matter what I do in life for an occupation, I will have an outside life going forward. I will take days off, sleep in, go out with friends…

6. I have learned to travel long distances…. I can drive long distances day or night. I can read in the car without getting carsick. I can figure out any mode of public transportation, including metros, buses, trains…

7. Even the bad times will turn into good memories…. or at least, good stories. Puking all the way to Kentucky after catching a stomach bug at the barn. Police giving me bad directions in Germany. Shivering in the car, completely soaked, after Devon flooded with rain. Each time… I was miserable.

However, every story now brings giggles.

8. Accept people on who they are by what they show you, instead of what you want them to be. It is dangerous to put people on a pedestal…. they have that much further to fall when you put them up that high. Regardless of a person’s status, whether it be social class, skill, celebrity… they are just a person. With Flaws.

Most of the time, major ones.

9. Think 10 steps forward. Be prepared for the consequences of the decisions you make. More importantly, THINK about the consequences before you act. One of the greatest sayings when dealing with kids, horses, and significant others is PICK YOUR BATTLES.

10. BE KIND TO GROOMS! I will never hand my horse off to anyone again without being the most gracious person. I will never get frustrated at anyone’s language barrier. Regardless of how the person ends up in the country and for what length of time, it is hard, hard, hard to be in a foreign country.

11. The Concept of ‘home’ is different for me now. Home is being surrounded by people who love you, who make you laugh when you feel like crying. Home is your horse whinnying to you when you have been absent for months. Home is my cell phone ringing “Sexyback” as its ring tone. Home is calling my best friend and telling her to meet me down the street for a drink. Home is Birdie snuggled next to me while I sleep. Home is calling Eric and using him as my personal GPS when I’m lost. Home is where people accept you for the person you are, and are loyal when the chips are down. Home is people telling you “welcome back, we missed you. We need you here.”

Home is a concept, not a location.

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Although I liked Germany, there were definitely things I wish I had known before I went over. Here is a collection of tips based on the snafu’s I encountered in my time there. Many thanks to Tina, who contributed to this.

1. Have or get Euros immediately. In America, we can swipe our credit card for everything, including a $2 McFlurry at mcDonald’s. Not so much in Germany. Although I had called my bank before leaving America to make sure my Visa card would work, I was surprised at how many places didn’t accept credit cards and further… didn’t accept Visa. Mastercard and American Express seem to be the main credit cards.

2. Be careful at the ATM’s. Not only did I run into problems at the ATM accepting my Visa bank card, but the bank fees associated with pulling money out were ridiculous! Be sure to check before you go to what the fees are. Pull out cash in larger amounts.

3. Get your cell phone to work internationally before you go over. It is not as easy as anticipated to get a German phone. In buying prepaid minutes, the operator may not speak English and to recharge the card may require a German bank account.

4. Be prepared if you are a picky eater. There is a pizza place on every corner, so you won’t starve. However, day after day of pizza will get old. Go to the grocery store. I heard this is true in Italy as well – but when buying fruits and veggies, you have to weigh and price the items yourself on a scale and pricer. Don’t take the fruit up in bags to the register, unless you want rapid-spit-firing German/Italian to come out of the cashier’s mouth…

5. Rent a car with a GPS. The road signs in Germany do not tell direction (N, S, E, W). The signs often give direction by the next city… so if you aren’t familiar with the cities, then you can easily have problems.

6. Tipping is 10%… less than Americans.

7. Keep small change. Some places charge 50 cents to go to the bathroom.

8. Grocery stores, malls, shops all close on Sunday. It’s like Thanksgiving on Sunday. You can buy gas. Pretty much, that’s it. Grocery stores and pharmacies close between 6 and 8pm on regular workdays. I did not encounter any sort of place offering 24 hour service. (My point is… there may be one. Don’t email me with a list of 24 hr places in Germany. I’m just telling you… if you travel there, it will be hard to find.)

9. Germany is very rule oriented. Do not even think of crossing the street unless you are on a crosswalk and the light is in your favor. They WILL yell at you if you cross when or where you shouldn’t. DO NOT EVER walk on the RED BRICKS. This is the bicycle lane. You will be run over. Then you will die. Then you will be yelled at by the bicyclist as he pedals over your dead body. Some bicyclists try to ding a little bell at you, meaning “Get the hell out of the way, you idiot American”. Just remember. Hear a ding. Dive out of the way. Ding. Dive.

10. Tina swears by the Lonely Planet Guide for any place you travel. It contains all the useful tidbits of info, making life much easier. The Lonely Planet guides are the best $10 you could ever spend when traveling abroad.

as those who regularly read know… Amy wrote this song for me.

“it’s just ’til these tears have dried….”

what better mix than rehabilitation from dependency on chemical substances mixed with my favorite musical show of all time!?!